on positive self talk
Unfortunately I have this bad habit of not talking about myself positively. I say negative things about myself because, simply put, it’s easier to admit I’m dumb than it is to admit I’m actually insanely smart.
A part of me wonders if we — yes, we — are conditioned this way because capitalism strives on the working class being uneducated and complacent. If we are too dumb to do anything, how will we organize? How will we fight for better wages, futures, education systems, etcetera. If we are stagnant and comfortable being stagnant, then what’s the point of fighting? I don’t have the answer to this unfortunately, I am only 19 after all.
Anyways, capitalism is beside the point right now. I’ve been trying to replace negative self talk with more neutral ideas — such as ‘math isn’t my strongest subject’ as opposed to ‘I’m the dumbest bitch ever and I cannot do math,’ or even more positive ideas such as ‘I am pretty!’ because, well, yes! I am pretty. I like how I look, and I am usually okay with my body.
Changing negativity to positivity is hard, but worth it. The change has made a great impact in ny life — I’m happier, I’m writing more, I’m kissing people (more on that soon!) and I’m seeing my friends. Michigan summers are so beautiful, I am so grateful my friends flocked home.
Anyways, recently I’ve been listening to a lot of Audrey Hobert — especially her song Sue Me. There’s something about plain and simple lyrics I like.
Like a lot.
Sue me also reminds me of early Lorde for some reason. It’s probably because they’re both synth-heavy alt-pop sounds. But, still — fun!